Who gets to decide what society wants? I am not the only one to challenge it, and I’m sure that the belief goes beyond my circle of friends, that there is a mistrust in ‘society’ and the structure of our ‘society’. If society is made up of people, and you and I are people, isn’t what is considered as ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’ up to us to decide?
And why do we have to ‘fit in’, or ‘fit’ at all? At a dental visit, I was asked if Alice was my mother (she’s about 4 years older than me), at the grocery store they call her my sister, and at the workplace my colleagues assume that Bailey is my sister as well. It’s a little easier to forgive if you make the assumption ‘best friend’. In fact, if we were sisters that were getting along, we would not be offended to be called best friends. If I were with my mother, she would be flattered to be called my best friend. Or how about starting with, ‘are you two related?’ But rather, it’s been decided that being female with a female partner is not ‘normal’. (Check out SHE’S NOT MY MOTHER, I’m not the exception.)
Pretend I don’t care about me, that I’ve grown to accept that I’m a misfit and will forever be a misfit. There are others I want to stand up for. I’m brought nearly to tears with M.C.’s story as an intersex individual. M.C.’s sex was chosen for him (he identifies as male) and he underwent surgery at 16 months of age to remove his male genitalia. Here’s a quote I pulled from one of the doctors (Michael DiSandro) from the article: “You have a person with ambiguous genitals, which society does not accept, and as a surgeon you can change it into something that looks completely normal and that society does accept.”
I have not forgotten how dysfunctional our society is. The divorce rate is currently between 40-50%, most of my friends are born bastards, and of those most were born outside of fidelity, myself included. Even the rich will complain that they need more money, but my peers often need two jobs or overtime just to get by. Most are unhappy, and it’s common to want to be different or special.
We as people recognize that there’s no such thing as perfection, and those of us who strive for it are often dysfunctional (based off of my observations of people I know), because what’s been decided as normal is not healthy or practical. Let’s visit what’s considered ‘normal’. You have the nuclear family, the mom and dad and daughter and son (because when it comes to children’s sex, you have to collect them all! [excluding intersexual, obviously]) and the cat and dog. Dad works nine to five, Mom raises the kids at home and has dinner done just in time for Dad to pull into the driveway. Mom and Dad saved up tuition for the children and for retirement for themselves.
I’ve never seen anything like this outside of old TV shows. Numerically it doesn’t make sense, but I’m too lazy to math it all, and you guys will just glaze over the figures. Just consider how much school is alone and how many folks you know that are retired and meet up at somewhere nicer than McDonalds for breakfast (where some locations have the dollar-sausage-biscuit-hashbrown [because no one says ‘and’]). To some people, homosexuality is a fad, which will now fade from being a fad since the taboo has been stripped, thank you Scotus. Because people don’t want normal; it doesn’t make sense.
My church now has the bathrooms labeled as non-gendered, with a notice further explaining that everyone is welcome. In an American history class my teacher asked, “do you really want true gender equality?”
The response was, obviously, “yes”. I’m always wary with the seemingly obvious, so I kept my mouth shut.
He informed the class of what it would actually look like, and painted a picture where bathrooms weren’t gender specific and asked again, “do you really want true gender equality?” The class was quiet now, and divided. My personal take on it was born out of a fear of males (thanks, dad) and I preferred the security of being somewhere I knew males would not be. At the time I suppose I didn’t believe that genders were ‘truly equal’, as my teacher had put it. All this came back to me when I saw those signs, and I reasoned within myself, just as Edward helped me to trust that not all men are made evil, I trusted now that this colorful, paper flyer was a step closer to something better.
Just like there is no manual for parenting, or for being poly, the current day suppositions on being normal being happy need to be chucked out the thirtieth-floor window. Let’s scatter until someone calls out, “hey guys, I found something that might work!” Were it not for the lawsuits (they’re starting to multiply against my family like rabbits) I might have been that one, but apparently this isn’t the day for us yet. But we’re close.