Troll Week

My husband is a troll.

troll2verb 1. informal make a deliberately offensive or provocative online posting with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them -Google

He trolls for the sake of enforcing justice, so he only really trolls bullies and other trolls. It gets him in trouble sometimes, but I love that about him.

Another troll I respect is John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight. On August 16th he did a segment on televangelists, specifically the ones who buy private jets for cash that had been donated and use them for personal use in the name of the church. Then, following all the legal guidelines (some accidentally), he created a legal entity recognized as a church, named Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption. He proceeded to ask for money, because he could, and when the IRS looks at him and says, “What the hell are you doing?” he will turn around and respond, “What the hell is your problem with me, if you let these televangelist pull the same bull$#1t through deception?” I’ve never considered myself to be attracted to a person for their looks, but rather to their intelligence and ambition, and John Oliver’s got it.

I would like you all to give a round of applause to the hackers who exposed Ashley Madison users. Was hacking wrong? Absolutely. Was distributing personal information (real names, addresses, email addresses, phone numbers, credit card information) wrong? Undeniably. Exposing cheaters? The idea is Machiavellian in nature to believe that the means are justified by the end. I can’t answer for the hackers about whether or not it’s worth it, but I’m going to think positively about the results. I don’t like to think of myself as being judgmental, but I recognize that we can’t even fathom what perfection is, much less accomplish it, and I can’t help but find humor when my relationship is considered ‘consented infidelity’ (as if) and yet respected individuals are being exposed for not following the rules of monogomy. (For those of you who want to feel ashamed, this is for you.)

And to the trolls that expose the flaws in our laws, let’s raise our glasses in toast. By following the law, a profile for someone who doesn’t exist was submitted as a presidential candidate. Make sure you vote next year for presidential candidate, whether or not you decide to vote for Deez Balls.

And for desert, on the last day of the week, my fortune cookie surprised me.

"Okay, I'll come back later, get some rest."
“Okay, I’ll come back later, get some rest.”

Therefore, in honor and recognition of the trolls who make us laugh, shake our heads solemnly, or revise our laws, I want to invite you to celebrate troll week every year, starting on the third Sunday of August and ending that Saturday. (Next year in anticipation of voting season is going to be particularly eventful.)

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