Shadow Beam

I’ve been meditating a lot about human perception. Yesterday I toyed with the idea of what if shadows could be manipulated the way that light can. When you focus a light through a concave lens, there is a place in the ray where the light is focused into one point. I imagined someone able to step into a shadow that had been manipulated in the same way and stand in that point so that they were behind the shadow, but it wasn’t cast on them. Once I was able to wrap my head around it, it got pretty trippy. We’ve been watching a lot of Halo lately, which has had some influence on my thoughts. I’ve been contemplating, what if a human had to be raised amongst an alien species? The culture would be completely different, and some other things I probably could never imagine. But would the human be able to adapt even then? Considering that I was able to imagine a shadow being manipulated like light, and visualize something that I’ve never (and likely will never) witness, perhaps the human mind is capable of adapting to much.

From this point, I reflected on how that impacted us in the here and now. I looked at my family and how we were being treated. The biggest argument they have that goes unspoken in court (sort of) is the morality that we teach our children. Our morals, of course, are different from theirs. For example, we don’t believe in racism, and we don’t believe in judging someone based off of their sexuality. For one, that’s their business. Two, I have a high respect for someone that’s confident about their sexuality (if you couldn’t tell from Curves and Confidence Parts One and Two).

I consider the human race to be a neutral thing. Someone told me the other day that he believed the race to be like a virus, consuming all resources and destroying. I think our last generation is proving that we don’t have to be, that we aren’t mindless, lifeless machines and we can understand what damage and damage control is. I’m not sure where ‘neutral’ is, but I can tell that we are built to undo the extremes. Civil rights movements are actions taken against rigid social structures, and these events just so happen to occur when the hierarchy is at its most rigid. Same with governmental structures. If the societal being is in too much chaos, it will create a leader. If the leader is too controlling, it will overthrow it.

I once walked along a beach and found a patch of sand that remained untouched by footprints. I felt like I had to protect its purity (I was very little, I had silly ideas). I took a stick, drew a border around it, and tiptoed very carefully to the center and sat down, admiring the smooth surface around me. A boy came up and stomped in this circle I had drawn, intentionally destroying the purity I’d worked to protect. For a long time because of this I wondered why people were so destructive, viewing myself as separate from the human race. Out of the blue it occurred to me, that the boy and I were each exercising our idea of how things should be. I felt there was too much chaos in the world and wanted to protect peace. Maybe he felt that the world around him was stagnant, and he needed to create some sort of change. We each had different perspectives of how things should be, influenced by our culture, and worked to reach that place of perfect. You will have people working towards an extreme, but when reflected upon from a different angle, one might see that perhaps it’s not an extreme after all.

I have tried and am still trying to understand where the ‘other side’ is coming from. When my mom sends me her, “I love you and someday you will understand” texts, I want to ask her what on Earth she thinks she’s accomplishing in trying to take my kids away. Everything they do is hypocritical, everything they say is so out there, untrue, and has no foundation. I don’t understand, but I am trying to. I was able to imagine a world where the laws of physics weren’t what I spent all my infancy absorbing into my brain. I could visualize a shadow being manipulated like light, and yet I cannot fathom where these people are coming from.


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