Life is so surreal.
I think I’m still in shock. My dreams feel more realistic than reality at this point. Last night I inherited a mansion. That feels more real to me at this point than grocery shopping in the evening. In the past few months we’ve had a baby, we’ve lost custody of another one of our children, we have two pregnancies, three if you count our friend Daisy (she feels like family), we’re moving, one of us quit a job and then was hired for another job, I’ve lost some ‘close’ relationships, and our calendars are infested with court dates and doctor’s appointments…
I feel numb. I forget my sentences as they escape my lips. I ended up throwing my fist down on the counter and slipping away after declaring “I can’t think!” midways through a justification that wasn’t even necessary. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. My thoughts are racing in place and just out of grasp.
Even now as I type I find myself losing my train of