It’s strange to think that (almost) no one knows what this feels like.
Edward considers me to be the most team oriented of us. And so the night that Bailey announced her pregnancy- as happy as I was for her- I felt panicked and unsure about our future as I considered how everyone would be affected. Two pregnant women. I had a hard time dealing with my own feelings, hormones, and mood swings during my pregnancy (note to males, during emotional episodes we feel completely justified, do not say “It’s just hormones” until after the storm). Now I have to be on the receiving end of these tantrums and remember that I am not hated. Edward and I both have to be the incomes and the anchors. In nine months there will be four infants within a year and a half in age, keeping each other (and us) awake with their screaming, and when they grow they will get their hands on anything and everything- and imagine all the laundry!
That’s not all. In an attempt to relate with Bailey so I can support her through her pregnancy, reminding myself of the early symptoms of pregnancy so I can warn her of what to expect, I’ve brought to my attention some of the things I’m feeling now. I don’t think that the lethargy and dizzy spells I’ve been experiencing are symptoms of allergies.
Tell me this is sympathy symptoms.
When Alice announced her pregnancy, responses were often, “Another one?”
Bailey got frustrated last night after spilling milk when trying to take her vitamins. Alice consoled her, reminding her that high levels of estrogen will mess with her coordination. I concurred; then I turned back to the spaghetti I was serving, and struggled to pour the sauce without spilling. No no no no no I pleaded. A small voice in my head reminded me of how I’d been air headed and absent minded and losing things and, and…
Daisy gave me the funniest look when I made some comment about how I was feeling. “How funny would it be if…”
I tried to imagine it. Three women clinging to the daddy of their babies? Poor Edward. As a team member, I had a habit of trying to ‘compensate’. For example, if Bailey was draining Edward with a need for his attention, I would try to relax him or avoid him. Eventually I would self-destruct, and make myself lonely, convincing myself that I went unnoticed. Then Ed would ask me why I had been so closed off, and pull me out of my shell, praising me like a pearl. If it is the case that we are all pregnant together, I hope that I don’t fall into the same pattern.
Later last night Bailey was doing her last minute cleaning before bed, and the paperwork she threw in the box drowning with stuff in the corner of the room got to her. She threw a fit over it and stormed out. Alice chuckled, I shook my head. Edward loved it. “She just had her first emotional breakdown from pregnancy! That was so cute! I want to hug her!”
“You’re going to get punched,” Alice warned Ed, who disregarded her to drag Bailey back and play with her. In his absence I narrated for Alice what would happen next. Bailey would act all butt hurt, stubborn to be upset by Ed, until he made her laugh
“Leave me alone,” Bailey moaned, trapped in Ed’s arms as he carried her back into the room, plopped her on the bed, and sat on her. “I’m not in the mood.” She gets offended when her feelings aren’t taken seriously, and Ed just giggled at her. Eventually she consented to being happy, and he tickled and tickled her.
I’m trying not to rub at my abdomen.